I’ve been trying to work myself out of this depression. Everything I read, all the podcasts I listen to, keep stressing that when things are over you should completely cut off contact. No texts, no emails, persona non grata. Hell, the 25 year-old ‘therapist’ at the bar last night tried to convince me herself. Just end it, cut it off completely, build The Wall from Game of Thrones.
I’ll never understand it. Yes, God, I wish I could do that. I wish the feelings would disappear, that I could be happy without her, but that love doesn’t disappear, those memories don’t dissipate like a Harry Potter spell, it’s so fucking hard to let go of someone you loved for so damn long. Anyone that says, “just get over it,” sounds like a damn sociopath to me. Put me in the Olivia Rodrigo camp, but I will never be able to cut off my feelings and say goodbye to a four-year relationship just like that. I love too hard, I care too much, I live in the past and fear the future, and part of me absolutely fucking hates it, but part of me absolutely loves that I care that damn much.